By AdrianPastol. 
(To all facing disappointments in their marriages)
“My in-laws, I greet you all once again and I thank you for welcoming us into your home” the tall smart looking elder said with a very confident voice, like he was sure of success on his mission. Uncle Uche or Nde Uche (‘Nda’ an ibo word meaning senior, is used as a sign of respect when addressing elders) as he is usually called; is my husband’s eldest brother. He was their father now, ever since their father died many year ago; it was him who helped my husband through school and even sent him abroad for his masters before my husband came back to join the family business, and he adorns me so much, sometimes I fear far more than his own wife, he has done everything he could possible do to keep my marriage to his brother intact and happy. So I knew even before they came to my father’s house where I have been staying for over two months now after I left my husband, that he would lead the delegation that will come here. “it is said that, a Toad does not run around in day time, unless something is pursuing it” he continued still standing, I was sure that the few times I had heard that proverb in our home-made movies that it sounded different; another evidence that our cultures and believes were dying fast, our new generation elders can’t even say a simple proverb anymore. “I will not paint my words my in-laws; we have come to find out why our wife and mother of our child has left her matrimonial home and gone to her father’s house. Please, if there is a problem then let us puts heads together and find a solution so that my younger brother can live happily with his wife again” he stopped to steal a look at his younger brother to confirm that he had spoken his mind, my husband nodded his head slowly in agreement, allowing a smile before making progress. “My in-laws, my brother knows that he has wronged his wife and he is really sorry about everything, he has also promised that it will never happen again, no woman can ever take the place of his dear wife and mother of his beautiful daughter” I looked up sharply at my brother-in-law and then at my husband, who lowered his head immediately in shame for I knew he had not told his brother the truth of what led to my leaving him, of cause I knew the story was not one that was easy to tell.

 He took his seat and waited for a response, his wife smiled at him in approval that he has spoken well and that was the first time that I really took note of her presence. My father was also late and his brother Uncle Debuchi or Nde Buchi was now my father as custom demanded, I must say he had done quite well with all the love and affection he shown me like I was his own daughter and I saw him as my father. 

“You have spoken well my son and we have heard you, when I got news that my brother’s daughter came back to her father’s house with her baby and luggage, it gave us signs that she was not coming to visit so I sent for her and we spoke at great length. She told me how her husband was neglecting her and cheating on her with other women and that she was tired of the marriage” my husband looked at me in slight shock knowing that I had not exposed him to my family and I stared back at him sternly “I advised her as a father and I also called her mother to talk to her” I looked at my uncle, remembering his advice, he had told me that I had to swallow the situation and find a way to keep my marriage at all cost, he had ended his advise with the words –It is a man’s world, if you catch him, you will go; and if he catches you, you will also go. “So I knew that you will be coming” my mother nodded her head beside him and as I looked at her, I also remembered her advice, how according to her I was suppose to compete and fight for my man, how I was the wife and mother of his child; titles no other woman could compete with. “And I am glad that our son has accepted his blame” my uncle continued talking “But saying I am sorry is different from actually being and acting like you are truly sorry. Our daughter is precious to us; you did not hurt her when she was not your wife, which was why we gave her to you so we never expected you to hurt her now that she is. This is something that we don’t ever want to hear again.” “It will never happen again, I promise you that” my husband spoke out taking my eyes to him immediately, a chorused “good… good… not at all… we will make sure he never repeats it…” ran round the room from both my mother and his people. 

My uncle now turned to me “my daughter, you have heard what your husband has said here today, in the presence of his people. He wants you back but you are our daughter and will always be, I must tell you that it is very good for a woman to have a husband but again, it is you that wears the shoes; tell us child whatever you want and we will support you”    

I thought of my three years old daughter as I stood up, I also thought of all the times my husband had neglected me and how I had to beg for sex like a common slut, sex that neither of us felt. I looked round the room taking note of everyone in it before I spoke. I remembered that this was the same room that we had sat when my husband came with his people to ask for my hand, the only difference was that they were more people in the room then and I was the happiest person alive; today, I was the saddest and when I opened my mouth to speak I could feel the sadness spread.

“Nde Buchi, I thank you for all your love and support to me and my mother ever since I was a child and lost my father, one can ask for no better uncle and my decision today as much as you may not approve is one that would make you proud if you knew the truth.” I felt like telling him the truth but I just could not, I looked at my mother and realized that her advice could not work in my situation for I could not compete. With my look of an angel, my sound education and perfect morals; I really could not compete. “Uncle Uche” I said looking at him, his wife and their uncle that accompanied them “I am happy I came into your family, and you and your wife are the best in-laws any woman can hope to have but believe me when I say, my place is not at your brother’s side” I then turned to my husband, by now my eyes were filled with tears. “The house at Lekki, my car and the blue jeep. My supermarket on the Island, these are the things I want. Your daughter shall keep bearing your name and you are free to come see her when-ever you desire, but you must call me first. You will also take responsibility for all her major financial responsibilities. Micheal, I don’t want to go to court and you know why but I will if I am forced to. That is all” I took my seat, it was the last thing anyone in the room expected to hear and their shock did not hide the facts. My husband looked up at me and he knew this was the end of the road for our marriage, for he alone knew that I did not leave him over another woman, he knew that it was not another woman that threaten me but another man. How can I compete with that, how can I live with him and the knowledge that my husband for almost four years and father of my baby was gay. He looked at me and replied “everything you asked for is yours.”

Thanks for reading, this is one of my writings, please comment and tell me what you think about it. 

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About AdrianPastol Nnochiri


  1. This is a great piece Adrian, I always love your writings.

  2. Thank you so much. I will keep doing my best.


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