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Relationship Advice.....

If you're not married yet, share
this with a friend. If
you are married,
share it with your spouse or
other married
couples . . . and reflect on it.
An African proverb states,
"Before you get married,
keep both eyes open, and after
you marry, close one eye."
Before you get involved and
make a commitment to
someone, don't let lust,
desperation, immaturity,
ignorance, pressure from...
others or a low-self
esteem make you blind to
warning signs. Keep your eyes
open, and don't fool
yourself that you can change
someone or that what
you see as faults aren't
really that important.
Once you decide to commit to
someone, over time
their flaws, vulnerabilities
, pet
peeves, and differences will
become more obvious.
If you love your mate and want
the relationship to
grow and evolve, you've
got to learn how to close one eye
and not let every
little thing bother you. You and
your mate have many different
expectations,
emotional needs, values,
dreams, weaknesses, and
strengths. You are two
unique individual children of
God who have decided to share a
life together.
Neither of you is perfect, but are
you perfect for each other?
Do you bring out the best in each
other?
Do you compliment and
compromise with each other,
or do you compete,
compare, and control?
What do you bring to the
relationship? Do you bring past
relationships, past
hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the
altar to alter him or
her. You can't make
someone love you or make
someone stay. If you
develop self-esteem, spiritual
discernment, and "a life," you
won't find yourself
making someone else
responsible for your happiness
or responsible for your
pain.
Manipulation, control, jealousy,
neediness, and
selfishness are not the
ingredients of a thriving, healthy,
loving and lasting
relationship.
Seeking status, sex, wealth and
security are the
wrong
reasons to be in a
relationship. What keeps a
relationship strong?
Communication,
intimacy, trust, a sense
of humor, sharing household
tasks, some getaway
time without business or
children and daily exchanges (a
meal, shared activity,
a hug, a call, a touch, a note).
Leave a nice message on their
voicemail or send a nice
email. Sharing common goals and
interests. Growth
is important. Grow
together, not away from each
other, giving each other
space to grow without feeling
insecure. Allow your mate to
have outside
interest.
You can't always be together.
Give each other a
sense
of belonging and
assurances of commitment. Don't
try to control one another. Learn
each
other's family situation. Respect
his or her parents
regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other
for material goods.
Remember, for Richer
or for Poorer. If these qualities
are missing, the relationship will
erode
as resentment, withdrawal,
abuse, neglect,
dishonesty, and pain replace the
passion.
"Nurture your mind with great
thoughts, for you will
never go any higher than you
think." The grass withers, the
flower fades,
but the word of God
stands forever. Isaiah 40:8
Shall we make a new rule of life
from tonight: Always
to try to be a little
kinder than is necessary. "The
difference between 'United' and
'Untied' is
where you put the "I".
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About AdrianPastol Nnochiri

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